the Cheap Seats

Inside the Mind of Joe Torre

            This pennant race is enough to drive me insane. In September the Yankees are usually in cruise control. This time of year The Yanks are usually giving guys days off, lining up their starters for the playoffs, and visiting local strip clubs. It’s the time of year Mariano Rivera sneaks out of the clubhouse and goes to Puerto Rico for a few days to re-charge the battery {read: arm) Not this year. This year they dug themselves too deep of a hole and have had to play .650 baseball to stay in the hunt.

           This year’s version of the Yankees playoffs started a week ago. Meaning Mariano is not lounging on the beach in

San Juan

and rumor has it he was actually seen lying in the fetal position, holding his shoulder, crying after Tuesday’s game.

            Joe Torre is also new to this pennant race stuff, so you can only imagine he’s exhausted from having to pay attention for this long without a break, and it seems to have affected some of the decisions he has made over the past 2 months. I think Joe may be starting to break down, I can only imagine what’s going through his head as he has been submerged in this pressure cooker for weeks with no end in sight.

            Since George has equipped Joe with the ‘Thought Stealer 3000’ we actually have a transcript of his thoughts we acquired from a dumpster outside of the stadium. Here are some excerpts:

-         Boy, Randy has pitched great tonight, but that’s no reason to think can do again in the 9^th inning. It would be asking too much of him, I’ll just bring in Mo for the 43^rd straight day. He’ll be fine! (Rivera hides behind the monuments when he sees Torre go out to the mound)

-         If Cashman won’t get Embree off my fucking team I’ll throw him out there every goddamn day until he gets the picture. Same way I did with Felix fucking Heredia!!!

-         Look at the mustache on Donnie, will ya? Jesus, I bet his mustache could hit .320.

-         (writing on a post-it) Remind Doc to make SURE he tells Jaret Wright his elbow is shattered in 43 pieces

-         (item 2 on post-it) Pick up anti-anxiety medication for Tommy [

Gordo

n]

-         (item 3 on post-it) Hot Dogs, Chili, Ex-Lax, Depends, Diet Mr. Pib,

Gordo

n’s Gin

-         I need to ask Tanyon why he thought it was a good idea to stop taking steroids

-         Why is Lou Pinella sitting in the owner box with George? Why are they both rubbing they’re hands together and nodding knowingly?

-         I don’t know why I thought Willie (in the subway commercial) would understand what I meant by [palm up, palm down, palm up, palm down] It’s not like there is a universal sign for ‘fresh toasted’

-         Who is that guy sitting at the end of the bench? #45? I need to check the roster. He look like that guy who pitched against us in the World Series in 2003

-         I hope Jason was smart enough to buy a whizzinator

-         If we actually do make the World Series, I better get oral sex for the job I did. I had to use Aaron Fucking Small as my 3^rd starter for month, and they guy who wears his hat crooked as the 4^th starter. I still don’t know how to say his name. It’s like the song, right? Cha-ca-con?

-         I wish Mo would stop crying like a 3^rd grader and get off the shower floor

-         If George fires me he STILL has to pay me $13 million. Good stuff.

-         I wonder who gets more tail, Robinson or Derek?

-     Who should I take out of the rotation now that Moose is back? Small? Ch-ca-con?            Wright? Don’s ‘Stache?

Those were the only ones we could make sense of. Many were inaudible, unfortunately.

In all seriousness though, Joe is starting to fall apart a little here. With a big 10 days coming up, and that ridiculously scary 3 game series in Fenway next weekend, I’m scared Joe hasn’t had any time to relax. He’s been going 100% for 4 moths now and it’s wearing him down. It’s not hard to see. It should be a GUT wrenching last 10 days.

I’m backing off all predictions from the last

AL

report. I handed the White Sox the AL Central forgetting they haven’t played a big game all season and apparently are not too good in them. They look like they’ll be the 1^st team in history to blow a FIFTEEN game lead in September. I would love to see it.

Starting Tomorrow: The Daily AL Report through the end of the regular season…That’s if I don’t die of a massive heart attack

            

The Redcoats are coming! The Redcoats are Coming!

I wasn't exactly thrilled when the Yankees signed Alan Embree on July 30th. And after witnessing him in a few outings,  it was certain that he was sent to the Yankees as a secret agent from the Red Sox to assure the Red Sox another Championship. Sort of like the role Ramiro Mendoza played a few years ago, when we sent him to Boston.

Now we sign Mark Bellhorn. Another guy that helped bring the Red Sox back from 3 games down last year. They managed to slip one secret agent past Cashman, but how did they ever get two? I can't stand this guy. I had to watch Embree and Bellhorn celebrate on the hallowed grounds of Yankee Stadium last October, and now I am expected to root for them. This is insane. I can't do it.

Watch these guys carefully. Theo Epstein and Larry Lucchino are still laughing about this. "We got one in, but how did they ever fall for the second guy?" Something is rotten in New Amsterdam.

Diamond Killers: The Stretch Run

Here are some thoughts on the things happening in baseball right now.

1. Paul DePodesta may have single-handedly spoiled L.A.'s chance for a World Series title with one of the worst trades in the history of baseball from a team in first place with a comfortable lead. Depodesta, whom I have faith will be a great GM, got greedy and that greed turned into stupidity. Essentially he wanted to turn Paul Lo Duca, Guillermo Mota and Juan Encarnacion into Randy Johnson, Steve Finley and Charles Johnson....he rolled the dice and now it looks bad. Paul Lo Duca was the HEART and SOUL of that team. Getting rid of your catcher (an all-star) in the middle of a pennant run is dumb. Now he has Brad Penny on the DL, no one setting up Gagne (which has lead to Gagne poor pithcing of late) and no catcher. LA has NO shot in the play-offs.....no matter how hot Adrian Beltre gets.

2. Other than Jason Schmidt and Barry Bonds are there any other players you would want on your ball club from the SF Giants? I didn't think so. NEVER have two players carried a team on their arms, backs and shoulders more than Bonds and Schmidt have.

3. Boston was out, now they are back and once again, according to Frost, it is "their" year. That is the beauty of the sox fan...just when they are beaten to within an inch of their playoff lives, they get one last gasp and make a run...only adding to the degree of severity to the broken hearts of their fans. NOOOMAAAAAHHHHH who?

4. The Yankees will lose in the first round of the playoffs to the Twins, due to poor pitching. Mark it down. Twins-A's fight for the AL Pennant.

5. The NL is going to be great for the rest of the year. Atlanta is going to get their 13th straight division title...AMAZING....Saint Louis is rolling and LA, SD, SF and CHC are fighting for two spots. Saint Louis will play LA and Atlanta will play Chicago. Chicago-Saint Louis for the NL title.

6. Players of the Year, not MVP's....Miguel Tejada of Baltimore and Adam Dunn of Cincinatti.

Trade Evaluation

Let's take a look at the big trades that happened and break them down, shall we?

1. Paul Lo Duca C, Juan Encarnacion OF and Guillermo Mota RP from Los Angeles to Florida for
Brad Penny P, Hee Seop Choi and Bill Murphy P (AA)
This is just an awful trade for the Dodgers. The only reason they did this was to try and get Randy Johnson. Arizona wanted to much for Johnson. They wanted, Penny, Murphy and Edwin Jackson for Johnson and Finley. The Dodgers were 26 and 5 when they made this trade and Paul Lo Duca was the heart and soul of the team. I just don't tink there was a need for it and I don't think they got enough for a guy like Lo Duca. Not to mention maybe the 2nd best set-up man in the game, Guillermo Mota.

2. Nomar Garciaparra to the Chicago Cubs, Orlando Cabrera and Doug Mientkiewicz to the Boston Red Sox, Alex Gonzalez SS, Francis Beltran P and Bredan Harris 3B and the Twins get Justin Jones LHP
Nomar was unhappy in Boston so it was time for him to leave. Orlando cabrera should fit in well and play better defense and Doug Mientkiewicz is a great glove man, which is a huge improvement forthe worst defense in the league. The Cubs got a great deal on Nomar, the only real loser here is Alex gonzalez who has to go to Montreal and play out the year. Poor Alex, at least no one is there to watch him.

3.Esteban Loiaza P from Chicago White Sox to the New York Yankees for Jose Contreras
Steady, but limited potential for tremendous upside, but inconsistency.

4. Justin Huber C From the New York Mets to the Kansas City Royals for Jose Bautista iNF

The First bad move in a series of three moves. Jose Bautista is on his fourth team in four years. Was he REALLY that necessary to get Benson to give up a much sought after, offensive catcher?

5. Kris Benson P and Jeff Keppinger 2B from the Pitsburgh Pirates to the New York Mets for Ty Wigginton 3B, Jose Bautista 3B and Matt Peterson RHP

This deal by itself isnt horrible, but coupled wit hthe Huber deal, I just don't like it for the Mets. Benson is a free agent after this year. New York is out of the race, they were out of the race when they made these trades, so now they are forced to sign Benson for whatever he wants. Oh year, in case you forgot, this is Benson's wife's website.

6. Victor Zambrano P Tampa Bay to New York Mets for Scott Kazmir P So let's get this right, earlier in the year when the Rangers wanted Kazmir for Soriano the Mets said no way. Now they give up Kazmir for a guy who walks more often than Roseanne Barr between the couch and the fridge? this is why it is a bad trade.

7. Ismael Valdez P San Diego to Florida for Travis Chick P
Another nice move by Florida.

8. Abraham Nunez OF from Florida to Kansas City for Rudy Seanez P
I think abraham Nunez could have been this years Jose Guillen if he was given a shot to play. good for both teams.

To keep track of the youngster's like Justin Jones and Bill Murphy, check out THE BEST site for prospects right here.

The Rumor Mill

It looks like the New York Mets are ready to make some moves...according to information acquired from various sources, including GM Jim Duquette via WFAN, the Mets are currently involved in talks for the following players; Carlos Beltran OF KC, Freddy Garcia P SEA, Kris Benson P PIT and Magglio Ordonez OF CWS. A deal for Freddy Garcia would, most likely, also involve Scott Spiezio. The Met Farm System has a few very good prospects, David Wright 3B, Scott Kazmir P, Matt Peterson P and Bob Keppell P..........................................................The Angels are looking to add our old friend Raul Mondesi, who is also talking with Boston about a contract......Randy Johnson will probably be moved by the end of July, it doesn't look like it will be to the Yankees or Red Sox it looks more likely that he will end of in Anaheim.......where rumors have it that Aaron Boone might be headed.

Players of the Week

MLB announced the players of the week today:

NL: Lyle Overbay 1B Milwaukee- he batted .520 last week with 3 HR's and 11 RBI's including a grand slam home run.

AL: Jose Guillen OF Anaheim- although his week ended with a nasty injury, it may not be that serious and he should be back to his old form, which put up these numbers for the week. batting average (.583), slugging percentage (1.125), on-base percentage (.643), hits (14), total bases (27), home runs (4), and RBIs (11). Not bad.

Mondesi- OUT!

Raul Mondesi announced today that he will not play for the remainder of the season. Oddly enough this comes after a decision was made to lift a court order that had been placed by the Dominican Republic on his bank accounts. I am sure we have not heard the last of this bizarre story.

"I won't play another game this season," Mondesi told The Associated Press. "I can't concentrate well enough to play baseball. I don't want to become a distraction for the team. This is the best for the Pirates, for myself and my family."

Mondesi, 33, said the decision was only for this year and he may return next season.