At 12:59 I made my final roster adjustment and sat back for an exciting day of football. I positioned my chips, dips, drinks and other essentials close by and was ready to watch my team run wild. By the time I settled in I had already lost. Both Terrell Owens and Chad Johnson had already caught two long TDs and were on their way to big days. The cap was still on my first beer, the seven layer dip had not even been breached yet and my day was ruined. Thanks Terrell and Chad. It looks like it is going to be one of those years.
Daunte Culpepper QB Minnesota Vikings : Last year I proclaimed to the world on national radio that Daunte Culpepper was overrated and could hurt your fantasy team. So far this year, 8 INTs and 0 TDs. I think he is the first quarterback in the history of the NFL that has negative points after two weeks. If he were a pitcher he would have been pulled in the first inning.
Jamal Lewis RB Baltimore Ravens : I can tell that my partners’ patience is running thin with me and Jamal Lewis. We had the 5th overall pick of the draft with Holmes, LDT, McGahee and Alexander all gone before us. My partner wanted Domanick Davis, then later in the week wanted Julius Jones or Deuce McAlister. I wanted Jamal Lewis All along. I feel like I talked him into it. Right now he is fuming. I think Jamal will be okay, but he is certainly making me look bad right now. Another poor showing, 10 carries and 9 yards. Ouch.
Chris Brown and Travis Henry Tennessee Titans : I am glad I stayed away from this situation; it looks like it is going to be trouble all year long. Henry had 18 carries for 62 yards and Brown had 8 carries for 33 yards. The concept of two running backs looks good on paper, but so did Gigli and we all saw how that turned out. Much like rock groups, someone also emerges as the more talented one. Take ‘Nsync for example, it is Justin Timberlake’s band, not Joey Fatone’s. Uh oh, I have said too much.
Joey Harrington QB Detroit Lions : The good news for Harrington owners is that they probably won’t have to read about this much longer, because I can’t see Harrington having much slack left on his leash. If Jeff Garcia wasn’t hurt, he would be starting next week. As it stands I wouldn’t be surprised if Dan Orlovsky gets the start. 19 for 37, 196 yards, 1 TD and 5INTs is not getting it done. Letting Joey Harrington run this team is worse than giving Tara Reid her own TV show. However, it is still better than Culpepper.
Chad Pennington QB New Jersey Jets : I don’t care about the stats. Statistically he had a sound game; realistically he may be the worst QB in the NFL. I watched the entire first quarter of the game and watched Pennington fumble and then throw a ball that had more hang time than Mr. Cooper. Justin McCareins looked like he was fielding a punt and if he could have he would have called for a fair catch. He never had a strong arm, but this is ridiculous.
Ahman Green RB Green Bay : I can’t say that I am surprised at the lack of production from Ahman Green this year. His decline started last year and looks like it is going to continue. 16 carries for 54 yards and 5 catches for 45 yards with 0 TDs. It is like watching the decline of Anthony Michael Hall. He came out of the box fast with a few great years and now is struggling to stay on the A-List of Running Backs. The parallels are remarkable.
Michael Vick QB Atlanta Falcons : People still draft him early and still get upset when they get this type of game from him. This is a typical Michael Vick game, 11-19, 123 Yards and 1 TD, tack on 43 yards rushing and there you have it. This is typical game from Vick. I understand the desire to have Vick, because every once in a while he will break an 80 yard TD run and throw for 250 yards. Michael Vick has the lure of the siren’s song, don’t fall for it. If you own him, wait for a good game and then trade him.
Sign-makers: : Every week we turn on College football and the NFL and you see the signs throughout the stands. You see things like: ABC Another Beating by Colorado or something clever like that. Some of these signs look pretty expensive. I have been to tradeshows in which the vendors’ signage can’t compare to some of the things I see in stadiums. What really makes me wonder about the authors and creators of these masterpieces are two things; 1)when do these people have time to make these things and how long does it take to make one of these signs and 2) can’t they come up with something a little more clever than they usually do. I mean I am guessing these people are wasting a solid five or six hours of work time, using company supplies and resources and spending hours thinking of just the perfect thing to say. I don’t know, maybe I am being too hard, but maybe we need a contest or something. I just feel that if you are going to take the time to make the sign or banner then you should really get your money’s worth. Please submit your favorite or worst signs to dchriscarlson@hotmail.com. If you are a sign maker and need help with a clever slogan or witty line, drop us a line and we can help you out.
Fantasy Sports Network : We are still pitching the idea of the Fantasy Sports Network to anyone that will listen. To sum up, we are looking to broadcast live events, such as football and host shows in a sportscenter manner with the focus specifically on fantasy sports. Imagine listening to an announcer yell at a player when he fumbles, “You just cost me two points Jerk Ass!” Of course, gambling would be worked into this. Imagine a team up by 14 points with a 14.5 point spread, 1minute 30 seconds left and the ball on the other teams’ one inch line. The coach tells the QB to run out the clock and kneel on the ball. Would you rather watch a broadcast with announcers that can empathize with you or listen to Phil Simms critique a 15 yard out pattern from a back up QB? Let’s make it happen people.
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