Sunday Killers Week One

Sunday Killers

Opening weekend. This is the only weekend in the NFL when all teams are equal. It is the only weekend in Fantasy Football when teams are all equal. Every owner thinks they did the best job at the draft. They snickered at some long shot picks other owners made in the 6^th round. They gambled on the next big receiver with their own picks. They have spent the past few days analyzing starting defenses against their running backs. I swear some of us could game plan an entire offensive scheme for NFL teams; that is how far we go.

And then the games begin. Everything starts to come into focus. Your friends are calling you with, “I told you Brandon Stokeley was a 4^th rounder,” and “I can’t believe you benched Willie Parker this week, what were you thinking?”  As if the knew he would have a monster opening game. Then you slowly realize that maybe you did make some mistakes, then the first injury hits, then the second. You are scrounging the waiver wire for help, your season is already ruined and Monday Night Football is still 24 hours away. Welcome back to Sunday Killers and welcome back to my world. Jump right in, the water is warm.

Jamal Lewis RB Baltimore Ravens: There is a theory floating around about Jamal Lewis. There was a prison guard interviewed recently by an ESPN host on ESPN radio. The man said that the prison that Jamal Lewis went to was extremely hardcore. This was not a country club. He went on to say that he believes there is no way that Jamal Lewis could begin the season in football shape, because of the food he had to eat during his stay in prison. He said the food is loaded with carbs and designed to keep the inmates energy levels low. He said there wasn’t much to do workout wise either. The belief here is that Lewis came into camp extremely out of shape and not ready to play. The Ravens, instead of bringing the whole prison thing back into light opted to make up little injuries to cover Jamal Lewis’ condition. It is just a theory, but I think it might be right on. Don’t expect Lewis to not run in the first few games, but he may wear down early and he may not but truly in game shape for another few weeks. Last night wasn’t his fault though; someone bought Peyton Manning a defense for Christmas.

Antonio Gates TE

San Diego

Chargers: I am not sure if he hurt his fantasy owners as much as he hurt the real chargers, but it was probably pretty close. If you watched the game, you saw the Chargers on the 10 yard line to end the game. The Chargers had a 1^st and goal from the ten with a minute to play. This is perfect Antonio Gates time. I don’t agree with players holding out that have contracts, but Antonio Gates should have been getting paid a little bit more than $330k. The Chargers didn’t negotiate and it cost them at least one game in my opinion. He would have scored a touchdown at the end of the game or freed up McCardell or Parker to score. Gates owners have to wait three more weeks before he gets on the field, I hope it doesn’t cost them any more games.

Mike Anderson RB

Denver

Broncos: In one draft, in the big time league, we had the 4^th overall pick. We took Jamal Lewis, then Randy Moss and then Javon Walker. We had no choice to take Mike Anderson with the 4^th round pick. Then we had to take Tatum Bell with the next pick. Four carries and five yards later, Mike Anderson is riding the pine. We had high hopes about

Anderson

, we thought he was a steal in the 4^th round, now we have to worry about who is going to get the carries. That’s always fun.

Daunte Culpepper QB Minnesota Vikings: Last year on my first ever radio appearance the host, Mike Gill, asked me about Culpepper. I said that he is not a consistent QB and he makes too many mistakes. I basically trash-talked Culpepper, and left Mike scratching his head for answers. It didn’t help that Culpepper played very well the next few weeks. But yesterday’s game is what I am talking about. Culpepper went 22-33 with 233 yards and three interceptions. He also lost two fumbles. In some leagues he had a negative point day. Negative points! Ouch!

Chad

Pennington QB New

Jersey

Jets: I am one of the people that think the bloom is off the rose with Chad Pennington. I don’t think that he has a great arm, I think the “cerebral” tag is over rated and I don’t think he can handle the pressure of playing in

New York

. With that said, I can’t imagine a worse start of a season for a team that many had picked to usurp the Patriots as

AFC

East champs. It is like throwing Jerry O’Connell in the cast of, well any good show, it just doesn’t fit. Pennington was 21-34 for 264 yards, 1

INT

and 32.5 fumbles lost. This was the Chiefs they played against, not the 86 Bears.

Tennessee

: What happened in

Pittsburgh

? Is their defense that good or are the Titans that bad. The first culprit is McNair, 18 for 26 with 219 yards passing 1 TD and 1

INT

. It is the only time he will be healthy all year, and he throws up some putrid numbers. Hey, maybe he is like me, I always write better with a hangover. I need to be a little banged up. Maybe that is what McNair needs. How about the Brown-Henry express? This should be interesting all year long. My sources tell me that Henry will eventually win the job, because Brown cannot handle the strain of a full schedule. Keep that in mind around week 8 when you are ready to strangle Chris Brown. Brown had 11 carries for 63 yards and Henry had 10 for 35 yards. Both backs broke long runs of over 20 yards each to taint those averages. Throw out the two big runs and they combined to average 2.15 yards per carry. That is bad. And I don’t mean bad as in good, just bad.

Larry Johnson and Priest Holmes RB’s

Kansas City

Chiefs:

Kansas City

, we have a problem. Granted that yesterday if you started Holmes you probably didn’t get killed by it, but if you started Larry Johnson you had a better day. A much better day. It is going to be impossible to predict which one to start. It is going to come down to who is lucky enough to break the touchdown run. Maybe they could make it work like DeNiro and Pacino did in The Godfather II or maybe it will be a disaster like when Devito and Lawrence teamed up in “What’s the Worst that Could Happen?” I think we all know the answer to that.

Javon

Walker

WR

Green Bay

Packers: Nothing worse than losing your 3^rd round draft pick on opening day. Nothing except, maybe, having to sit through a Yes, Dear marathon.

Shaun Alexander RB

Seattle

Seahawks: This has to go in the disappointing column. Not a killer, but certainly bad. Alexander was probably the second overall pick in most drafts. You expect more than 73 total yards and 0 TDs. No need to panic yet, but a disappointing opening day for Alexander and the entire Seahawks team.

Extra Points

Directtv: They just get it. They understand what we need as football fans and fantasy football team owners. This year they unveiled the Game Mix channel which shows eight games at the same time. They also have a Red zone channel which automatically goes to the game that has a team in the red zone. If any Directtv executives are reading this, we need to join forces to create the Fantasy Sports Network. Call me, I am an idea man.

Drew Bledsoe QB

Dallas

Cowboys: Could be a match made in heaven for Bledsoe owners. He looked incredibly comfortable yesterday in Parcells system, throwing for 226 yards, 3 TDs and 0 Ints. Does this mean I am going to have to look for someone else to be my whipping boy this year, or is he just setting himself up for more? It is up to you Drew, choose wisely, my friend.

Joey Harrington QB Detroit Lions: The man I dubbed as the QB to take over as Drew Bledsoe’s whipping boy actually played fairly well yesterday too. He had 167 yards passing, 2 TDs and 0 Ints. What does this mean for me? How will I get my material if Harrington and Bledsoe perform well? Is that the end for the Sunday Killers guy? Oh hello Mr. Boller and Mr. Hasselbeck, Drew and Joey had to leave, but they kept your seats warm. Will there be anyone else joining you?

Comments

[tolikimer]

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Bye